Saturday, August 4, 2018

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #104

Another exciting day in the kingdom of Overlord L’Orange!

Where to start?!

Overlord L’Orange called the media the “enemy of the people”. Which is really ironic coming from him.

Jim Acosta from CNN reports: “…Overlord L’Orange’s Press Secretary was repeatedly given a chance to say the press is not the enemy and she wouldn’t do it. Shameful.”

The Overlord’s Press Secretary is broadcasted on the interwebs stammering and stuttering, saying anything but what she is being asked about. Diverting. Digressing. Dumbing down. She likes to wear pearls, because it makes her appear “respectable” while she spews her lies and bile; that’s a little psychological trick. She’s also a woman, which is purposely intended to make the medicine go down smoother, like sweet, warm Southern molasses. She’s also a mom; a mom would never steer you wrong, would she? She’d want what is best for you…you would trust her. She seems tortured to me, like her soul is fighting for a way towards the surface, but some dark, heavy force is squashing it back down, similar to Linda Blair’s character in the Exorcist. She grimaces and contorts her face, but she is an immovable brick wall. She’s got that sh*t pushed down *deep*. But it’s got to come out eventually, that is if she’s an actual human being. She seems like an animatron to me, like those awkward robots at Disneyland…a distant memory. That’s something one of my relatives would have joked to me about a long time ago, making fun of the “talking political heads”, before he was swallowed up by the GOP brainwashing machine, and sucked into the stratosphere a million miles away from me. But that’s another story, for another day.

Jim Acosta was also at the Overlord’s “rally” (a place for the Overlord to publicly stroke himself) in Florida earlier this week, where he was harassed by L’Orange supporters, who are a whack-a-doodle bunch!

Also, the Overlord proclaimed at his rally that the whole Russian thing is a “hoax”. The next day his White House team tried to clean up his mess, but this sh*t stinks to high Heaven! It stinks like a giant dump-truck load of diarrhea, composed of rotting hamburgers, mistresses, and Russian Oligarchs. And molted Ostrich jackets. The stench of it makes you want to vomit.

Additionally, and consistently, our planet is dying, faster than previously realized. But the Overlord wants to ease the rules on fossil fuel emissions for all vehicles in the United States. He wants to kill all of us, obviously. He wants his precious money, which means more to him than anything else in this God-forsaken country.

Lastly, the National Rifle Association is going bankrupt, due to all the angry, protesting youth. Those crazy kids! Still young enough to hope for a better future.


There’s so much more, but it’s hard to keep up with all of it, as you might imagine.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #103

Today, Overlord L’Orange had another Tweetstorm meltdown, tweeting: “This is a terrible situation” (it is!) and the Attorney General “should stop this Rigged Witch Hunt right now, before it continues to stain our country any further”.

Firstly, why, oh why does the Overlord continue to communicate via “Tweets”?! It’s so undignified for an Authoritarian leader such as himself to communicate in this manner. Has he no self-respect?
Secondly, if he is innocent, why is he so fixated on stopping this investigation? That’s the main question. If he was innocent, wouldn’t he just be relaxing on his golf course in Palm Beach right now, Arnold Palmer in one hand and a Playboy model on the other?

Thirdly, I may be just an average citizen, but I happen to know quite a few witches, and believe me, they are not happy about him calling this investigation a “Witch Hunt”. Not happy about that at all. He’s not a witch; he’s a fake Christian. So he should really be calling this investigation a “fake Christian hunt”. In addition to offending women, people of color, and the LGBTQ community, he has now also offended the witches. Not smart. Dumb. And sad.

Anywhooo…this trial seems to be really stressing him out.


Also, he keeps saying that “Collusion is not a crime”, but lawyers from Ivy League colleges on NPR keep saying that collusion is just another word for “conspiracy”, which is a crime. They are two ways of saying the same thing. So I think the Overlord needs a new synonym dictionary. I’m sure he could find a good definition of the two words on the internet, but I guess he’s mostly just on Twitter. He might be happier with a hardcover gold-plated Thesaurus…that seems more his style. Although I doubt he would ever open it; he doesn’t seem much interested in reading. Although he might have much more time for reading soon.