Rancho Tarzanadu: How Rancho Tarzanadu Came to Be

Miss Linda (pronounced 'Mees Leenda') had come to the conclusion that she was in dire straits. It was time to take action.

She lived in her family home, the one she had been brought back to when she was born. Her parents had purchased the house in 1959 'for a song'. Her father had insisted on buying a house in the hills, with a beautiful view overlooking the San Fernando Valley. The house also overlooked the El Caballero Country Club, of whom none of the family was ever a member. Her father, who grew up on a cattle ranch in Texas, preferred to golf at the less expensive public courses. Her father, to put it nicely, was extremely frugal.

Miss Linda was brought back to the house when she was born in March of 1966. She was greeted by a white cat named Breathless, who guarded her crib as if he was on patrol.

Miss Linda's father was a fighter pilot in World War II (The Big One). His plane was shot down in New Guinea, and he survived there for three weeks in the jungle, contracting gangrene from a machete wound (his own, accidentally), but he survived. When he was discovered, he begged for his leg to be amputated because it hurt so badly, but the doctors wouldn't listen to him. He kept his leg, and was later glad that he did. After the war, he put himself through college, obtaining a Master's Degree from UCLA as an Electrical Engineer. He was hired by Hughes Aircraft, where he worked for forty years, until he retired. He worked on several 'Top Secret' assignments that he would never discuss with anyone. He would drive, or fly, to secret locations and be gone for days at a time. He was forty-four when Miss Linda was born, and seventy-nine years old when he died, in his den, at the house. His ashes were buried in the backyard, which was always his very favorite place to be. Miss Linda was heartbroken at losing him, as she had always been 'Daddy's Girl', his only child.

Miss Linda's mother was raised on a Tennessee farm with four brothers and one sister. Miss Linda's grandmother used to wring the necks of the chickens that she would later cook for dinner. She had a sick chicken at one time with something literally 'stuck in its craw' and she pinned the chicken down, gave it a shot of whiskey (so the story goes), sliced it's craw open, took out the damaging elements, then sewed the craw back together. The next day, the chicken was fine and laying regular eggs again. Miss Linda's grandfather was a preacher-man, and had various other odd jobs as well. Miss Linda's mother grew up very poor, but she married well, three times (four times if you count the time she married her first husband twice, but Miss Linda's mother does not like to discuss this and conveniently leaves it out when speaking to most people, or changes the subject if it is brought up). Miss Linda's mother is beautiful, has always been beautiful, except for a gawky childhood stage at one point. Her skin is like velvet, and she has a heart of gold. She can also be very shrewd, however, and practical. She can see through bullshit from a mile away, a trait that she has passed on to her daughter. Miss Linda's mother got remarried three years after Miss Linda's father died, and found true love at the age of seventy-eight to a man two years her Junior. Miss Linda's mother asked her if she would like to move into the family home because she was gong to move in with her new husband, who had lived in the hills of Pasadena for the last forty years and didn't want to leave his house, which overlooked the Rose Bowl. Miss Linda said she would be a fool not to move in to the family home, and made plans immediately for the move and started packing. She had recently been laid off from her job of nine years, at an Advertising Specialty Company, and was grateful for the move on several different levels. It was her 'Tara', and she had returned home to where she had been brought back to when she was born, where her father had died, and where his ashes were buried. Her half-sister and half-brother could not understand her attachment to the house, but Miss Linda did not know how she could express it any clearer. It was part of her, and she was part of it.

Her specific problem at this moment was money, as is the problem with many. She was in the process of figuring out how to stay in this beautiful house for the rest of her life, and be able to pay for everything like house taxes and insurance, property upkeep, the gardener, the pool man, the utilities, clearing of the half-acre of land below the house, etc. She was presently studying to become a Massage Therapist, as she had always enjoyed working with 'energy', but until her new career took off, she had to come up with some sort of a plan.

The economy had just crashed. Badly. Depression-era badly.

She decided that the quickest solution to her problem would be to take on boarders. She reluctantly placed an ad.

She decided that another solution would be to rent out her beautiful property for events, such as archery lessons, dance lessons, kung-fu, pagan rituals, prenatal yoga classes, weddings, bar-mitzvahs, film shoots, puppet shows, etc.

Miss Linda would not relinquish her family home. Desperate times called for desperate measures. 

And so, 'Rancho Tarzanadu' was born. A boarding house for certain few (who could pay regularly). And an Events Rental when the bills were coming up short. A get-away spot. A retreat. A refuge.

Little did she know that the house was sitting on top of a magical vortex, and was unique and highly prized by many beyond her realm or capacities of understanding at this present time. She was about to embark on a journey, however, that would lead her straight into the eye of the hurricane.

All Miss Linda knew is that she would never give up her home.