Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #102

It’s been raging hot in California…up to 111 degrees and beyond in the San Fernando Valley. The Overlord says that global warming is a hoax. The scientists on NPR say that we are all going to Hell in a hand-basket, sooner than previously suspected. Nine fires, or more (I’ve lost count) are burning right now. One (or more) of my religious relatives might call this the End of Times. Is the Overlord the Anti-Christ? Everything’s burning to a fever pitch. So hot. No relief in sight. Climate change is a hoax. “Just remember: what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” It’s a daily, massive mind-f*ck on a grand scale; some have succumbed to it, some have gotten fiercely angry, some have stayed in bed with the covers pulled up over their heads, sobbing, and some have become too emotionally exhausted and numb to do anything but post political memes on social media and fool themselves into thinking they are making any kind of difference.

But today’s good news is that it’s the first day of the trial of the Overlord’s political campaign manager, who is being tried on eighteen counts of bank fraud and tax fraud, and is also being investigated regarding his financial interactions with Russia. The FBI is looking for ties between the Russian government and the L’Orange political campaign. The Overlord’s lawyer, who always seems to not only put his foot in his mouth, but to actually eat it and swallow it again and again on National television said yesterday that “Colluding with Russians is not a crime.”

The Overlord had another hissy fit this morning, tweet-storming all over the place, saying that “collusion is not a crime”. Additionally, “there was no collusion”. But if there was collusion, it would not be a crime. No collusion. No crime. But literally, just a few days ago the Overlord said not to believe what I see or read…did he mean everything? Or just certain, select things? I want to be a good citizen, but it is so hard to figure out! It might be easier if the government placed some kind of chip in our foreheads, like they do with pets, so they could just feed us what they wanted us to know directly, without any of these fancy word phrases to confuse us!

The Overlord seems a little more uncomfortable to me now, more specifically today than any other previous day. He seems like he’s looking for a place to hide, but there is none. He’s also really angry at reporters lately, for asking him questions – those pesky reporters, with all their endless questions! He dreams of a time before all of this, when the whole world was made of gold and he was the King of that world. He curls up in the fetal position now in a separate bed from wife number three who he’s cheated on, and attempts sleep. It is elusive.  

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #101

Three days ago, Overlord L’Orange proclaimed (insert whiny, man-child, nasally voice here): “Just remember, what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening” (July 24, 2018). Ummm…excuse me? The Overlord is recommending that I abandon my own instinct and common sense. Wow. It’s three days later, and the dust is still settling in my psyche.

I started this series the day he was rigged into office, but at the time I was slammed with trying to piece it all together and make some kind of sense out of it while simultaneously working and finishing my degree in Creative Writing. It’s been like an Alice in Wonderland nightmare: what’s up is down, what’s black is white, what’s wrong is right. I attempted to capture the mood of each day through news of that particular day, but it sucked me dry emotionally and I had to take a break from trying to keep up with all of it…the constant, steady onslaught of horribleness, force-fed to me, to all of us.

I turn on the radio, and the first thing I hear is the announcer’s voice saying “Today, Overlord L’Orange blah, blah, blah...” Or, even worse, I hear the Overlord’s voice itself, which reminds me of the whiniest, spoiled baby-man I have ever heard, or could even imagine hearing in my worst nightmares. His voice is as grating as nails on a chalkboard…like Dracula scraping his steel claws down deliberately and torturously. And what comes out of his mouth is a constant stream of bullsh*t, nine-and-a-half times out of ten. But I digress.

My point is that I started my in-depth observations of him on election night, when something felt wrong. Rigged. Like stinky fish in a whorehouse kitchen. Rotten. My instinct told me. I could feel it with every fiber of my being. I even said out loud to myself: “What the freaking frack is going on?!” Hopefully, that will be explained to all of us, sooner rather than later. What the freaking frack is going on?

On his 100^th day in office, I abandoned my online diary entries, which were mainly just the news of the day, out of sheer emotional exhaustion, and a feeling that there must be something better to focus my energy on than that…life’s too short to focus on this human monstrosity. But then I realized that I was approaching it all wrong. I needed to process it. And then release it back out in a new form that would help me understand it better, like in the form of Magical Realism, which seems to be the form the Overlord is most comfortable with, too. I need to embrace it, resonate with it, and examine it more closely, to see what it’s really made of. So I’m starting fresh with Installment #101. My personal observations, which is what I intended all along, but got caught up in the tidal wave of insanity that swept over the United States on that fateful election night. I have survived that storm and reclaimed my sea legs. In looking back, he lied to us that very night, as he was rigged into office! He lied again when he claimed he had the largest crowd size ever at his inauguration. Liar. Lies. Unless…he actually is delusional, and believes all his lies. It’s all so confusing.

On the subject of not trusting my own perceptions, like the Overlord suggests, I’ve been contemplating whether a mother, a good, loving mother or father, would advise their children not to listen to their own instincts and gut reactions, then send them out into the world and see what happens to them. “Remember, honey, don’t believe what you see! Especially if it’s something bad…it’s not real, remember?” These parents might also advise: “Little Johnny and Janey – also remember not to believe what you read! That’s the absolute worst! In fact, why waste your time reading at all? The Overlord loves the uneducated! Be good citizens, Johhny and Janey! Be illiterate! Be as dumb as f*cking bricks and do whatever the Overlord says, otherwise there will be consequences. “We’ll see what happens…” the Overlord whines, hamburger in one hand and his cell phone in the other. He has grease dripping down his hands and pooling at the corners of his mouth. How he is still alive, no one knows for sure, as he appears to be a bloated, contorted mass of pure hatred and delusion. He thrives on the blackness.