Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #102

It’s been raging hot in California…up to 111 degrees and beyond in the San Fernando Valley. The Overlord says that global warming is a hoax. The scientists on NPR say that we are all going to Hell in a hand-basket, sooner than previously suspected. Nine fires, or more (I’ve lost count) are burning right now. One (or more) of my religious relatives might call this the End of Times. Is the Overlord the Anti-Christ? Everything’s burning to a fever pitch. So hot. No relief in sight. Climate change is a hoax. “Just remember: what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” It’s a daily, massive mind-f*ck on a grand scale; some have succumbed to it, some have gotten fiercely angry, some have stayed in bed with the covers pulled up over their heads, sobbing, and some have become too emotionally exhausted and numb to do anything but post political memes on social media and fool themselves into thinking they are making any kind of difference.

But today’s good news is that it’s the first day of the trial of the Overlord’s political campaign manager, who is being tried on eighteen counts of bank fraud and tax fraud, and is also being investigated regarding his financial interactions with Russia. The FBI is looking for ties between the Russian government and the L’Orange political campaign. The Overlord’s lawyer, who always seems to not only put his foot in his mouth, but to actually eat it and swallow it again and again on National television said yesterday that “Colluding with Russians is not a crime.”

The Overlord had another hissy fit this morning, tweet-storming all over the place, saying that “collusion is not a crime”. Additionally, “there was no collusion”. But if there was collusion, it would not be a crime. No collusion. No crime. But literally, just a few days ago the Overlord said not to believe what I see or read…did he mean everything? Or just certain, select things? I want to be a good citizen, but it is so hard to figure out! It might be easier if the government placed some kind of chip in our foreheads, like they do with pets, so they could just feed us what they wanted us to know directly, without any of these fancy word phrases to confuse us!

The Overlord seems a little more uncomfortable to me now, more specifically today than any other previous day. He seems like he’s looking for a place to hide, but there is none. He’s also really angry at reporters lately, for asking him questions – those pesky reporters, with all their endless questions! He dreams of a time before all of this, when the whole world was made of gold and he was the King of that world. He curls up in the fetal position now in a separate bed from wife number three who he’s cheated on, and attempts sleep. It is elusive.