Some of Miss Linda’s friends and family had snarky comments about her educational goals later in life, like: “What do ya wanna do that for?!” and: “What’s the point?!” One friend literally said: “School? You’re too old for school!” (and that was when she was still in Community College!). Some family members ignored her graduation completely, as if it was non-existent. Some thought it was the “Devil’s Work” and that she was being indoctrinated into the Elite Intellectual Globalist Cabal attempting to create the New World Order. Some said “Congratulations” through gritted teeth, as if saying the words made them feel sick to their stomachs.
Of course, many more supported her endeavors than not, but she found the silent and begrudging ones especially interesting, and liked to dissect their motives and emotional states late into the night when the world was still and silent; she thought she might be able to use them as characters for something later on. So many characters. She also wondered if they thought she wouldn’t notice their pronounced silence or snarkiness? (Miss Linda noticed everything; hence her high GPA.)
She was also baffled by the fact that not one of her professors (all of whom possessed PhDs) had noticed that she was a doll throughout the entire program! These were people who were supposed to be smart! She realized that she probably got away without being noticed because the classes were done on Zoom, but even when the cohort met in person for their convocation, no one mentioned it. Maybe they were trying to be more “inclusive”? She herself was surprised at how short one of her classmates was in person, when she had expected this person to be much taller, and was impressed with the height of one her professors, as she had expected him to be much shorter (he was also handsome and charming…and married). But to not notice she was a doll…that was stretching things a little far.
But maybe they were just doing the same thing some of her friends and family had done regarding her graduation – not mentioning it because it made them feel…uncomfortable? Sick to their stomachs? Angry? Resentful? Dismissive? Maybe they were shocked that a doll could actually earn a Master’s Degree (even though it was “only at a State college, and not even the best of State colleges” as her faux step-sister reminded her, sneering). Her professors may have thought, “If a doll with a hereditary eye disease can get an overall 4.0 and graduate “with distinction”, how valid is this degree, anyway? How valid are any of my degrees?”
Everyone kept asking her: “What are you going to do now?” She told her tall, handsome professor that she was going to get stoned and float in the pool all day, like in The Graduate, but he didn’t like that answer, and kept pressing her. She told him she was going “to write poetry, record songs, and make art” (after all, that’s why she got this degree in the first place – to “validate” her artistic pursuits), but he seemed a little on the skeptical side about that answer too, even though she was dead serious.
“What are you going to do now?”
“What are you going to do now?”
“What are you going to do now?”
She knew that everyone wanted to hear something practical, but how practical did they expect her to be, getting a Master’s Degree in Humanities in the first place?
One of her professors spoke at her Hooding ceremony, and said that this was probably the only Master’s program that left students with more questions after graduating than any other program (except maybe for philosophy). Miss Linda certainly had lots of questions, and wondered about all kinds of things: the different ways humans interact, the way they can support each other or tear each other down, the way love can be given generously or withheld for various reasons, the way money rules the world, and the idea that getting an education for the sake of expanding oneself can be viewed as a complete waste of time by some, the way some people stumble through life never contemplating anything, while taking comfort in their smug “superior” position, only seeing things through their own myopic lens, and judging others harshly for doing things “differently” without ever walking in their shoes.
Miss Linda knew what she was going to do right now: decorate a frame to hold her freshly-delivered diploma; probably something in pink and green, adorned with flowers, glitter, and bluebirds (the echoes of her faux step-sister hissing “Princess!” fading into the ether). Then she was going to smoke a big fattie, and smell the actual roses on this glorious June day, which was mild with cool breezes and little puffy clouds in the blue-blue sky. She was going to enjoy the fruits of her labor, and pursue her creative endeavors, even though to some, she would always be “just a doll”.
Doll or not, Miss Linda knew who she was.
She wondered if some others knew who they were?
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