Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #105

Fires are raging all over California and the Overlord says it’s our fault, because we don’t trim our trees. Even though these fires are not in the forest, but are residential. He says he will withhold funding to help us, because he loves to blame the victim more than anything else in the world. He hates California because the entire state despises him, except for the white supremacists, who won’t admit that they are white supremacists.

L’Orange flew to Paris over the weekend to “honor” the soldiers who fought in World War I, but he didn’t make it to the actual ceremony because it was raining, and he would probably melt in the rain like the Wicked Witch. His hair must be a hot mess when it’s wet.

There is a photo of him and other world leaders gathered in France, standing next to each other as Putin approaches them. Everyone else is looking at Putin skeptically, as they should, but Overlord L’Orange is grinning like a possum to see his lover approaching. His wife is dutifully at his side, probably relieved that his attention is placed on his new love interest rather than on her.

The shooting at Borderline in Thousand Oaks only happened four days ago, but it has been swallowed up by the fires and the Overlord’s insults.

I would post more, but it is too depressing, gas-lit at every turn.

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #104

Another exciting day in the kingdom of Overlord L’Orange!

Where to start?!

Overlord L’Orange called the media the “enemy of the people”. Which is really ironic coming from him.

Jim Acosta from CNN reports: “…Overlord L’Orange’s Press Secretary was repeatedly given a chance to say the press is not the enemy and she wouldn’t do it. Shameful.”

The Overlord’s Press Secretary is broadcasted on the interwebs stammering and stuttering, saying anything but what she is being asked about. Diverting. Digressing. Dumbing down. She likes to wear pearls, because it makes her appear “respectable” while she spews her lies and bile; that’s a little psychological trick. She’s also a woman, which is purposely intended to make the medicine go down smoother, like sweet, warm Southern molasses. She’s also a mom; a mom would never steer you wrong, would she? She’d want what is best for you…you would trust her. She seems tortured to me, like her soul is fighting for a way towards the surface, but some dark, heavy force is squashing it back down, similar to Linda Blair’s character in the Exorcist. She grimaces and contorts her face, but she is an immovable brick wall. She’s got that sh*t pushed down *deep*. But it’s got to come out eventually, that is if she’s an actual human being. She seems like an animatron to me, like those awkward robots at Disneyland…a distant memory. That’s something one of my relatives would have joked to me about a long time ago, making fun of the “talking political heads”, before he was swallowed up by the GOP brainwashing machine, and sucked into the stratosphere a million miles away from me. But that’s another story, for another day.

Jim Acosta was also at the Overlord’s “rally” (a place for the Overlord to publicly stroke himself) in Florida earlier this week, where he was harassed by L’Orange supporters, who are a whack-a-doodle bunch!

Also, the Overlord proclaimed at his rally that the whole Russian thing is a “hoax”. The next day his White House team tried to clean up his mess, but this sh*t stinks to high Heaven! It stinks like a giant dump-truck load of diarrhea, composed of rotting hamburgers, mistresses, and Russian Oligarchs. And molted Ostrich jackets. The stench of it makes you want to vomit.

Additionally, and consistently, our planet is dying, faster than previously realized. But the Overlord wants to ease the rules on fossil fuel emissions for all vehicles in the United States. He wants to kill all of us, obviously. He wants his precious money, which means more to him than anything else in this God-forsaken country.

Lastly, the National Rifle Association is going bankrupt, due to all the angry, protesting youth. Those crazy kids! Still young enough to hope for a better future.

There’s so much more, but it’s hard to keep up with all of it, as you might imagine.

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #103

Today, Overlord L’Orange had another Tweetstorm meltdown, tweeting: “This is a terrible situation” (it is!) and the Attorney General “should stop this Rigged Witch Hunt right now, before it continues to stain our country any further”.

Firstly, why, oh why does the Overlord continue to communicate via “Tweets”?! It’s so undignified for an Authoritarian leader such as himself to communicate in this manner. Has he no self-respect?

Secondly, if he is innocent, why is he so fixated on stopping this investigation? That’s the main question. If he was innocent, wouldn’t he just be relaxing on his golf course in Palm Beach right now, Arnold Palmer in one hand and a Playboy model on the other?

Thirdly, I may be just an average citizen, but I happen to know quite a few witches, and believe me, they are not happy about him calling this investigation a “Witch Hunt”. Not happy about that at all. He’s not a witch; he’s a fake Christian. So he should really be calling this investigation a “fake Christian hunt”. In addition to offending women, people of color, and the LGBTQ community, he has now also offended the witches. Not smart. Dumb. And sad.

Anywhooo…this trial seems to be really stressing him out.

Also, he keeps saying that “Collusion is not a crime”, but lawyers from Ivy League colleges on NPR keep saying that collusion is just another word for “conspiracy”, which is a crime. They are two ways of saying the same thing. So I think the Overlord needs a new synonym dictionary. I’m sure he could find a good definition of the two words on the internet, but I guess he’s mostly just on Twitter. He might be happier with a hardcover gold-plated Thesaurus…that seems more his style. Although I doubt he would ever open it; he doesn’t seem much interested in reading. Although he might have much more time for reading soon.

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #102

It’s been raging hot in California…up to 111 degrees and beyond in the San Fernando Valley. The Overlord says that global warming is a hoax. The scientists on NPR say that we are all going to Hell in a hand-basket, sooner than previously suspected. Nine fires, or more (I’ve lost count) are burning right now. One (or more) of my religious relatives might call this the End of Times. Is the Overlord the Anti-Christ? Everything’s burning to a fever pitch. So hot. No relief in sight. Climate change is a hoax. “Just remember: what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” It’s a daily, massive mind-f*ck on a grand scale; some have succumbed to it, some have gotten fiercely angry, some have stayed in bed with the covers pulled up over their heads, sobbing, and some have become too emotionally exhausted and numb to do anything but post political memes on social media and fool themselves into thinking they are making any kind of difference.

But today’s good news is that it’s the first day of the trial of the Overlord’s political campaign manager, who is being tried on eighteen counts of bank fraud and tax fraud, and is also being investigated regarding his financial interactions with Russia. The FBI is looking for ties between the Russian government and the L’Orange political campaign. The Overlord’s lawyer, who always seems to not only put his foot in his mouth, but to actually eat it and swallow it again and again on National television said yesterday that “Colluding with Russians is not a crime.”

The Overlord had another hissy fit this morning, tweet-storming all over the place, saying that “collusion is not a crime”. Additionally, “there was no collusion”. But if there was collusion, it would not be a crime. No collusion. No crime. But literally, just a few days ago the Overlord said not to believe what I see or read…did he mean everything? Or just certain, select things? I want to be a good citizen, but it is so hard to figure out! It might be easier if the government placed some kind of chip in our foreheads, like they do with pets, so they could just feed us what they wanted us to know directly, without any of these fancy word phrases to confuse us!

The Overlord seems a little more uncomfortable to me now, more specifically today than any other previous day. He seems like he’s looking for a place to hide, but there is none. He’s also really angry at reporters lately, for asking him questions – those pesky reporters, with all their endless questions! He dreams of a time before all of this, when the whole world was made of gold and he was the King of that world. He curls up in the fetal position now in a separate bed from wife number three who he’s cheated on, and attempts sleep. It is elusive.  

Overlord L'Orange: Observations of an Average Citizen, Installment #101

Three days ago, Overlord L’Orange proclaimed (insert whiny, man-child, nasally voice here): “Just remember, what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening” (July 24, 2018). Ummm…excuse me? The Overlord is recommending that I abandon my own instinct and common sense. Wow. It’s three days later, and the dust is still settling in my psyche.

I started this series the day he was rigged into office, but at the time I was slammed with trying to piece it all together and make some kind of sense out of it while simultaneously working and finishing my degree in Creative Writing. It’s been like an Alice in Wonderland nightmare: what’s up is down, what’s black is white, what’s wrong is right. I attempted to capture the mood of each day through news of that particular day, but it sucked me dry emotionally and I had to take a break from trying to keep up with all of it…the constant, steady onslaught of horribleness, force-fed to me, to all of us.

I turn on the radio, and the first thing I hear is the announcer’s voice saying “Today, Overlord L’Orange blah, blah, blah...” Or, even worse, I hear the Overlord’s voice itself, which reminds me of the whiniest, spoiled baby-man I have ever heard, or could even imagine hearing in my worst nightmares. His voice is as grating as nails on a chalkboard…like Dracula scraping his steel claws down deliberately and torturously. And what comes out of his mouth is a constant stream of bullsh*t, nine-and-a-half times out of ten. But I digress.

My point is that I started my in-depth observations of him on election night, when something felt wrong. Rigged. Like stinky fish in a whorehouse kitchen. Rotten. My instinct told me. I could feel it with every fiber of my being. I even said out loud to myself: “What the freaking frack is going on?!” Hopefully, that will be explained to all of us, sooner rather than later. What the freaking frack is going on?

On his 100^th day in office, I abandoned my online diary entries, which were mainly just the news of the day, out of sheer emotional exhaustion, and a feeling that there must be something better to focus my energy on than that…life’s too short to focus on this human monstrosity. But then I realized that I was approaching it all wrong. I needed to process it. And then release it back out in a new form that would help me understand it better, like in the form of Magical Realism, which seems to be the form the Overlord is most comfortable with, too. I need to embrace it, resonate with it, and examine it more closely, to see what it’s really made of. So I’m starting fresh with Installment #101. My personal observations, which is what I intended all along, but got caught up in the tidal wave of insanity that swept over the United States on that fateful election night. I have survived that storm and reclaimed my sea legs. In looking back, he lied to us that very night, as he was rigged into office! He lied again when he claimed he had the largest crowd size ever at his inauguration. Liar. Lies. Unless…he actually is delusional, and believes all his lies. It’s all so confusing.

On the subject of not trusting my own perceptions, like the Overlord suggests, I’ve been contemplating whether a mother, a good, loving mother or father, would advise their children not to listen to their own instincts and gut reactions, then send them out into the world and see what happens to them. “Remember, honey, don’t believe what you see! Especially if it’s something bad…it’s not real, remember?” These parents might also advise: “Little Johnny and Janey – also remember not to believe what you read! That’s the absolute worst! In fact, why waste your time reading at all? The Overlord loves the uneducated! Be good citizens, Johhny and Janey! Be illiterate! Be as dumb as f*cking bricks and do whatever the Overlord says, otherwise there will be consequences. “We’ll see what happens…” the Overlord whines, hamburger in one hand and his cell phone in the other. He has grease dripping down his hands and pooling at the corners of his mouth. How he is still alive, no one knows for sure, as he appears to be a bloated, contorted mass of pure hatred and delusion. He thrives on the blackness.