Rancho Tarzanadu: 'Little Johnny' and the FBI Agents

'Little Johnny' (his code name) was brought to Rancho Tarzanadu for refuge, and a place to explore his creativity in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere. It was carefully studied for months previously by FBI Psychiatrists, and had been deemed the perfect place for 'Little Johnny' to study, get fresh air in a (relatively) safe environment, and a place for him to open up and expand his strategic craft of war. 'Little Johnny' had a special talent, although he still spoke no words at age six, of strategizing military manoeuvres with miniature military tanks, vehicles, personnel and weaponry. It was a rare gift, indeed, especially considering his age and lack of practical experience. He was a child to be closely watched and observed, to be taken note of. The FBI was abuzz like a hive surrounding its Queen about 'Little Johnny's' talent, and his very large brain.

They had tried keeping him on an actual military base for observation at first, but this proved fruitless. He curled up in the fetal position and started sucking his thumb. Again. His parents had both disappeared earlier that year, and being a boy of six, he was greatly affected. He felt isolated and alone, abandoned. Not being very creatively profuse in this condition, the FBI had to reconvene about his placement, in an environment that would nurture his abilities, yet give him the space to explore on his own. He needed to be somewhere he felt safe, in a community atmosphere, but not heavily doted on or interfered with.

Apparently the FBI had been keeping tabs on Rancho Tarzanadu for some time, unbeknownst to Miss Linda. When they showed up at her door she had a sudden, sinking feeling, and events from her past came rushing to the surface of her brain and she felt like she was drowning. She must have swayed a little bit, for the next thing she knew two FBI agents had her by each arm and were ushering her back inside the house. They sat her down in her own living room chair, and ran through their list of terms and conditions. Miss Linda was relieved. They wanted a little boy to live there, room and board paid in full (and then some) for his protection. Miss Linda was curious as to how they sought her out for this 'mission', since she had no military training of her own.

"Your father," the male agent spoke, "was...well-connected and well-respected. We've been here before...'we' being the 'collective we'."

"I see," Miss Linda replied, looking at the amount of the check that they had presented her with. And as she folded it and tucked it away she said, "I'm sure we can work something out."

Miss Linda had never wanted children of her own, and still did not. She liked children fine (well-behaved ones), but she didn't want the responsibility of caring for one of her own. In fact, the thought of it made her somewhat nauseous. Ex-boyfriends of hers had mentioned having children with her in the past, but she ended up leaving them, or jeopardizing the relationships to get out of it. But this child would be different; he would just be another boarder. Her first official boarder.

'Little Johnny' took to Miss Linda immediately. He could sense her uneasiness, but being an idiot-savant he could also sense her true essence and the light that shone out of her (some would call this an 'aura'). Whatever it was, 'Little Johnny' saw it clearly, and bonded with her in a silent and distant way, but with a psychic cord attached to her soul.

It took Miss Linda a while to warm up to him, but it was a slow and steady pace of blossoming toward his little spirit like a flower in the sun. She gave him plenty of space, but when they did spend some random moments together, it was profound, and they both realized this without having words for what it was or needing to express it. Miss Linda felt as if she might have known him in a previous life, but she was not even sure if she believed in that sort of thing. He kept to himself. The only physical affection Miss Linda showed him was a gentle tap-tap on the head every now and again, and sometimes she would give him a genuinely warm hug, when the mood struck her. He always held on longer than she did, and hugged her a little bit harder. He adored her. She was reticent, but open-minded, and kind by nature to animals and good-natured children.

Miss Linda was actually kinder than she liked to let on. She had her guard up. She had her creative pursuits to focus on, and didn't want to lose track of that.

"As long as he doesn't get in my way," Miss Linda told the FBI agents. "I have things I need to get done, and can't be babysitting all the time."

"It won't be like that, Ma'am," the female agent replied. Miss Linda did not like that she called her "ma'am", and wasn't that thrilled with her tone, either. "We would be 'Little Johnny's' caretakers...we'll bring him his meals, via a daily food delivery service...all organic, healthy and tasty meals and snacks. We'll have someone tidy up his room on a regular basis, provide a teacher for his lessons, and we'll be around once a week for observational purposes to make sure he's doing okay. There will be more helicopters flying slowly by your house, however, and sometimes hovering. That's something you'll have to get used to. We'll be taking photographs of 'Little Johnny's' work from above, and need to document that."

"I understand," replied Miss Linda. "I agree on one final condition: you bring me fresh, organic, tasty meals also. Including dessert. And for Manuel as well."

The FBI agents gave each other a look.

"You drive a hard bargain, Ma'am," the female agent replied. "But I think we can accommodate you."

Miss Linda was secretly pleased with her own bargaining skills, and also greatly relieved; she was a horrible cook.