Little Johnny's Milk

Little Johnny laughed with his glass of milk, as he toasted his own health. He was as pleased as punch with it. It was his sustenance and fortification. It calcified him. It enabled his brain to function at optimum level, and this was important to Little Johnny. This glass of milk, and all it contained, was his future, and the future of the world.

Little Johnny understood from a very early age that all life matter is enveloped and supported by the same organic materials...namely those found in his glass of milk. They don't call it 'Mother's Milk' for nothing. The 'Land of Milk and Honey'? You do the math. Little Johnny was highly skilled at mathematics, and owed this in large part to his enormous dairy consumption.

Learning that the cow is a sacred animal in India, Little Johnny traced its lineage for an extra-credit school project, and discovered his own third eye in the process. When he closed his 'normal eyes' almost fully, but left them slightly open while breathing deeply through his nostrils, he could reach a state of Nirvana while gazing into his cold glass (or warm cup, depending on the season) of milk. This would lead to a state of indescribable bliss that would last for several hours, sometimes even days.

Little Johnny eventually abandoned everything; gave up all his worldly possessions, dropped out of prep school, and moved to a sheep farm in the Appalachian mountains where he wore nothing but Long-John red underwear, alternately milking his sheep, gazing at the milk in the pails, then drinking the vitalizing live cultures, which would further him along on his new path to total freedom, unconditional love, and enlightenment.